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Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Fried Green Tomatoes (at the Whistle Stop Cafe)

God. What a cheesy piece of shit film. I seriously want back the time I spent watching this. It took me two sittings to get through it, because the sickly sweet schmaltziness of it was making me want to gag.

"Yessir, we're from the South, so we tawk funny, and everything is a loooonnng ass stowry. I remamber way beck wen..."

What a pile of toss. Why the hell did Kathy Bates's character sit through the mental ramblings of an old lady in a hospital? I would've rather she'd flipped out and gone all Misery on her.

And what's with the little twist at the end? So cannibalism is OK? Feeding a dead body to an officer of the law is fine, is it? We're OK with that? We're going to walk off arm-in-arm into the sunset with big goofy smiles on our faces, knowing full well that A HUMAN BEING FED ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WITH SOME HUMAN BEING MEAT?!!?

Seriously, get in the fucking sea. 3/10